I'm not even talking about a room I rented for a summer gig or anything like that. No sublets, no temporaries...
I have LIVED in 17 places. Signed leases. Filled up drawers. Put stuff on the walls. 17 different places that were SUPPOSED to be permanent until life got to the end of a chapter in Choose Your Own Adventure: Lindsay's Life and decided to"take the mysterious, winding pathway towards the wizard's castle" instead of "sit under apple tree."
What I'm trying to say is, your life only has 22 possible endings.
"Moving builds character!" Is what people who have moved less than ten times in their life will tell you. Sure, it builds character... it also builds stress, anger, debt and a resentment for the human race. But let's go through this step by step so that we all can appreciate just how much of an emotional roller coaster moving is.
You will lose a large number of material items that you felt a strong emotional connection to. And it's gonna be really sad. You will tear apart boxes looking for something that you've held onto since you were a child. Maybe something your Grandmother gave you that was small and worth no money... but it's emotional value was priceless and you thought you'd have it forever. You'll lose things like that. I've lost countless keepsakes, cards, jewelry, pictures and gifts... and I haven't forgotten about any of them.
But the silver lining to this heartbreaking feeling is that you will learn that things are exactly that... things. It's just a seashell sitting on your chest of drawers. Losing the seashell doesn't mean you lose the beautiful memory attached to it. The memory is what is truly important.
You will learn to read the small print in contracts. I hate to say it, but even if they don't intend to... most brokers, movers, truck rental agencies, cable companies, electric companies, supers and landlords are all out to swindle every last cent from your bank account. ALWAYS read the small print and feel like a boss in the process.
You will have moments where you resemble a screaming, angry, bloated, middle aged Wall Street guy. Those people who are out to swindle you? After your first few moves you'll start catching them in their tracks. And you will have a lot of fun calling them out on their bullshit. Moving, and dealing with these people, really helped me to grow a set of girl-balls and start standing up for myself.
If you are blessed with loving parents, you probably will go through high school and maybe even college with them sticking up for you and fighting your battles. But then you hit your your twenties- and then it is time to learn how to tell the movers you hired on Craigslist that no, you will NOT pay another $100 for the extra mover because they never told you that each additional mover cost an extra $100. They are scamming you.
Stand up for yourself when someone is trying to have one over on you. Stand your ground. Say "NO".
No, Dymetrious Papinaou you will only get the 25% broker fee we ORIGINALLY DISCUSSED!!!
You will realize that you are able to lift far more weight than you ever thought you could. I will heave and haw when I am carrying two bags of food home from Trader Joe's... But when I was moving out of the condo I lived in with my ex without any help I was suddenly able to maneuver 75 lbs boxes to and fro. It makes you feel like Superwoman.
You will find out how disgusting you really are. Ever want to feel like you belong on a self-help show on TLC? Move your bed away from the wall and take a looksy at what has accumulated underneath it. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Trust me, I'm GONNA NEED that Cra-Z Art 250 Piece Deluxe Art Set SOON!
You will have a new found love and appreciation for your friends and family. I watched one of my friends parallel park my moving truck, I witnessed my 50 year old dad carry my new 100 lbs Ikea dresser up four flights of stairs, I've been given all sorts of odds and ends from loved ones trying to fill my homes with things that I needed. I have been amazed at the favors people will offer up to you for no other reason than their love for you. This is an incredibly life-affirming part of moving. Bask in it.
You will learn that you CAN save money. I know I'm NOT the only one out there who has been overheard saying, "Ugggggh I NEED to start saving moooooneeeeey," while sipping on a $4.00 chai tea latte. Look, it's what we do day to day. But have you ever realized that when you have a move rapidly approaching you can find ways to save $3000 in four months, when you were never able to do so before? If none of us truly possessed the skill to save money than none of us would ever move. Ever. I remember this anytime I get overwhelmed by money. I remind myself of all those times I have been able to buckle down and fork out first month's rent, last month's rent, security deposit, broker's fee, moving truck, plane ticket and still manage to have my $4.00 chai tea latte. We are ALL CAPABLE of saving money. It still sucks though.
You will lose weight out of nowhere. It's true! Maybe it's the saving money and not eating big lunches, maybe it's the lifting boxes, maybe it's sweating out the weight having anxiety dreams... but yeah, you're probably gonna shed a few pounds.
You will be presented with great challenges and you will overcome them. You know why? Cause you have to. That's a lesson my mother taught me at a young age. "Things will be okay because they HAVE to be okay." Read and repeat that to yourself. "Things will be okay because they HAVE to be okay." Nothing is going to happen to you during this move that will ruin your life. You will not end up living out of a cardboard box. Just stand your ground, grow up, work hard and take big breaths. Get ready for a FABULOUS feeling of self-satisfaction afterwards. You have just finished something that is extremely difficult. You have achieved a goal. Congratulations, you are AWESOME!
One of those amazing friends I was talking about took this photo of me the day I moved into my current apartment.
LEARN FROM ME,
Lindsay
PS: Think I'm full of shit with the moving 17 times thing? Chew on this, sucka!
Lindsay Has Lived....
My parent's first home in Maplewood, NJ. This house was adorable and had a pool and a stairway that split into the kitchen and living room- making it almost as awesome as the Full House house.
My family's first home in Washington state. This was a classic, brand new, yuppy home on the top of a cul-de-sac. It was breathtaking. And it was haunted with what I THINK were ghosts of American Indians. But cul-de-sac 4th of July parties are worth the price of a few apparitions.
My mom's apartment she rented after my parent's separated. This was the only time I ever had to share a bedroom with my little brother. "Poor little upper-middle-class girl," I know right?
Both of my parents got their own homes approximately one mile away from each other after they divorced. This put me in the "rich kid" school district, which I did not fit in well with. This was around the time I really got addicted to the internet.
Then, both my parents moved AGAIN when my mom got re-married. Into two brand new, housing development "little boxes" homes. Again, one mile away from each other.
My dorm. Another haunted home of mine. This one was even scarier.
My first apartment in the ghetto of Pittsburgh. The first time I saw water bugs and centipedes. Dear my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ PLEASE never let me see them again.
My second apartment, across the street from the first. With two of my best girlfriends. My bedroom door didn't have a handle on it- you had to jimmy it open with a key. God, college is awesome.
My first apartment in NYC after graduation. I moved back to Pittsburgh after only a few months to be with my first real-deal boyfriend whose name was Ian.
Ian's apartment in Pittsburgh. My first time living with a boyfriend.
Ian and my first disgusting apartment in Chicago. Also known as the place we got bed bugs. Seriously the worst thing ever.
Ian and my second apartment in Chicago. This place was a dream. A condo in a luxury building! A swimming pool! A view of the city AND the park! A 24 hour concierge! But then we broke up. Bye Chicago!
My Dad's new condo. I moved back in with them to figure out my life. Living with your parents is challenging when you haven't done it in seven years.
My triumphant return to NYC with my best friend Jordan. We had a beautiful apartment and amazing times in it. This was a real home. It was lovely. Then Jordan left for the opportunity of his life on the Mary Poppins tour. And it was time to get my own place.
My home now. Another dream. A gorgeous studio in a new building. There's no furniture in it, but it's all mine.
