For example, when you were 17 and you decided to try your hand at Jazz Choir you could simply join a free choir in school and if you are fortunate, have your parents fork over the money to go on awesome and expensive trips to places like Disneyworld to compete with the choir...
... And then one year later decide singing jazz is super lame and you'll never do it again.
There's no consequences from these decisions at all. At least, none that effect you directly.
You don't gotta tell me how good I looked in that vest.
Now as an adult, if you wanna pick up a new fun hobby, let's say burlesque dancing, you gotta take the damn money outta your OWN account (once you have enough set aside, which will take about four months of planning) and tell your manager at work that you can no longer work on Tuesday or Thursday nights... ...Then you get called in to work one of those nights and you decide after a few weeks of classes that you'd rather make money than go to class.
...Then you just stop going to class altogether.
...Then you realize you spent $350 on absolutely nothing and you are no farther ahead than you were when you started planning your new and exciting career in burlesque dancing six months prior. Except you have less money. Balls.
Sounds horrible.
You'll just never pick up another hobby ever again. (Except Blogging, apparently.)
I've found that decision making as an adult is terrifying. And I don't even have children or a mortgage yet.
So! I have decided to make a few important decisions NOW that I suspect will help me to flourish in the future.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO GIVE MY DREAMS MY ALL
This is HARD, am I right?? It is so, so easy to let your dreams go by the wayside. And it's sad. I know that I have tried all sorts of things to fill the void where my dreams should be. I've made a lot of money, had a good relationship, achieved a better body... but none of those things seemed to give me that delicious feeling of fulfillment. Then one day I finally realized... when was the last time I let myself focus on my DREAM? What I spent a LOT of money studying to do. What I am passionate about. What I trained for for years. I don't have to let go of that dream. I don't have to sink into a desk chair and spend my life saying "Yes sir" to people I don't know. I promise myself that while I am relatively young I will chase my dreams hard. I will not divorce my dreams. I will let myself montage the shit out of my dreams until I am on top of my game and bathing in that yummy feeling of achievement.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO GET MY DEBT UNDER CONTROL
Carrying a debt around feels gross. It makes you question if you posses any self control whatsoever, or if you will forever be Forever21's bitch. And if you're like me and money scares you it is very easy to just cover your ears and quip to your friends "Ugh... there's KAREN again..." when the bill collectors keep calling. I promise myself that I will get over my fear of money (ie "mature") and chip away at my debt NOW. That way, when my daughter asks for a pair of $89.00 parachute pants from Abercrombie and Fitch in 2022 when they circle back around and become popular again, I will be able to provide her with those pants. And a heaving eye roll.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO BE REALLY HOT
Laugh all you want, but I'm just gonna try my hardest. I'm gonna be good to myself. I'm gonna remember how amazing it feels when I have sweat running down my body after a four mile run. I promise to keep taking care of myself and making myself a top priority- because if I'm looking in the mirror every morning and hating what I see... I have a feeling I won't be a very pleasant person to spend the day with.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO BE A GOOD FACEBOOK FRIEND
I really don't understand people who are "against" Facebook and social networking programs. Social networking programs are amazing and damn near necessary with how hectic our lives have become. I understand that writing letters is soooooo much more personal and blah blah blah, but when was the last time our society had time to write letters to every single loved one we want to stay in contact with? I promise myself to stay connected to my friends... even when I'm busy and I feel like the last thing in the world I have time to do is check in on them. They are my second family, they have been my rock for years. These people loved me back when I had pink streaks in my hair... I gotta at LEAST *like* the photo of their puppy wearing a D.A.R.E. shirt.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO BE A PATIENT PARTNER
There's a big difference between "learning from your mistakes" and "projecting your bad experiences on a new person". I can't tell you how many times I've been caught being unnecessarily hard on my loving boyfriend. If there was a degree in Ripping People New Assholes I would probably be minoring in it with poor Ryan. I promise myself that I will not punish my boyfriend for the mistakes other men have made. I'm going to start practicing this behavior NOW- while things are simple in our relationship (see: "no children", "no mortgage"). Things get more complicated when there's a piece of paper between two people- I know this because I am a kid of divorce, just like 50% of you are. I promise myself that I will work very hard every day to be nurturing, loving, positive and loyal to my partner. And on days where it's really difficult to do that cause he just will NOT put his dishes in the sink I'll remind myself that no one wants to get down with an angry girlfriend. Stay calm, girl... bitter is the nastiest of all the flavors.
I Also Promise To...
Take care of my teeth.
Promises are important. And the ones we make to ourselves are of high priority. It's like having a Happiness Contract with yourself.
Think I'm lame? That's fine by me- I'll just go enjoy my burlesque classes in Happiness Land without you.
LEARN FROM ME,
X_____ Lindsay___________________________________
...Then you just stop going to class altogether.
...Then you realize you spent $350 on absolutely nothing and you are no farther ahead than you were when you started planning your new and exciting career in burlesque dancing six months prior. Except you have less money. Balls.
"I could be trying on nipple tassels right now..."
Sounds horrible.
You'll just never pick up another hobby ever again. (Except Blogging, apparently.)
I've found that decision making as an adult is terrifying. And I don't even have children or a mortgage yet.
So! I have decided to make a few important decisions NOW that I suspect will help me to flourish in the future.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO GIVE MY DREAMS MY ALL
This is HARD, am I right?? It is so, so easy to let your dreams go by the wayside. And it's sad. I know that I have tried all sorts of things to fill the void where my dreams should be. I've made a lot of money, had a good relationship, achieved a better body... but none of those things seemed to give me that delicious feeling of fulfillment. Then one day I finally realized... when was the last time I let myself focus on my DREAM? What I spent a LOT of money studying to do. What I am passionate about. What I trained for for years. I don't have to let go of that dream. I don't have to sink into a desk chair and spend my life saying "Yes sir" to people I don't know. I promise myself that while I am relatively young I will chase my dreams hard. I will not divorce my dreams. I will let myself montage the shit out of my dreams until I am on top of my game and bathing in that yummy feeling of achievement.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO GET MY DEBT UNDER CONTROL
Carrying a debt around feels gross. It makes you question if you posses any self control whatsoever, or if you will forever be Forever21's bitch. And if you're like me and money scares you it is very easy to just cover your ears and quip to your friends "Ugh... there's KAREN again..." when the bill collectors keep calling. I promise myself that I will get over my fear of money (ie "mature") and chip away at my debt NOW. That way, when my daughter asks for a pair of $89.00 parachute pants from Abercrombie and Fitch in 2022 when they circle back around and become popular again, I will be able to provide her with those pants. And a heaving eye roll.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO BE REALLY HOT
Laugh all you want, but I'm just gonna try my hardest. I'm gonna be good to myself. I'm gonna remember how amazing it feels when I have sweat running down my body after a four mile run. I promise to keep taking care of myself and making myself a top priority- because if I'm looking in the mirror every morning and hating what I see... I have a feeling I won't be a very pleasant person to spend the day with.
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO BE A GOOD FACEBOOK FRIEND
I really don't understand people who are "against" Facebook and social networking programs. Social networking programs are amazing and damn near necessary with how hectic our lives have become. I understand that writing letters is soooooo much more personal and blah blah blah, but when was the last time our society had time to write letters to every single loved one we want to stay in contact with? I promise myself to stay connected to my friends... even when I'm busy and I feel like the last thing in the world I have time to do is check in on them. They are my second family, they have been my rock for years. These people loved me back when I had pink streaks in my hair... I gotta at LEAST *like* the photo of their puppy wearing a D.A.R.E. shirt.
I cannot tell a lie. (@richbinning)
FUTURE SELF, I PROMISE TO BE A PATIENT PARTNER
There's a big difference between "learning from your mistakes" and "projecting your bad experiences on a new person". I can't tell you how many times I've been caught being unnecessarily hard on my loving boyfriend. If there was a degree in Ripping People New Assholes I would probably be minoring in it with poor Ryan. I promise myself that I will not punish my boyfriend for the mistakes other men have made. I'm going to start practicing this behavior NOW- while things are simple in our relationship (see: "no children", "no mortgage"). Things get more complicated when there's a piece of paper between two people- I know this because I am a kid of divorce, just like 50% of you are. I promise myself that I will work very hard every day to be nurturing, loving, positive and loyal to my partner. And on days where it's really difficult to do that cause he just will NOT put his dishes in the sink I'll remind myself that no one wants to get down with an angry girlfriend. Stay calm, girl... bitter is the nastiest of all the flavors.
I Also Promise To...
Take care of my teeth.
Listen to my children.
Start wearing sunscreen.
Never smoke cigarettes.
Say "Please", "Thank You", and "I Love You" frequently.
Donate my time to charity.
Always find a way to forgive.
Take the chance to make someone laugh.
Be easy on myself.
Pray.
Promises are important. And the ones we make to ourselves are of high priority. It's like having a Happiness Contract with yourself.
Think I'm lame? That's fine by me- I'll just go enjoy my burlesque classes in Happiness Land without you.
Dear God! This is what pops up when you Google search "Happiness Land"!
LEARN FROM ME,
X_____ Lindsay___________________________________
